


Sergeant Peralta, Jake Peralta

by portlandborn



Series: Adventures in Being a Peralta [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 16:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17307761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portlandborn/pseuds/portlandborn
Summary: Nearly a year has passed since the events in the Honeymoon is Over, JJ is eleven months old, Jake is a sergeant, Amy is a lieutenant, and the peace and quiet of the past year are about to be shattered as they find themselves in the middle of a case that could cost them dearly.





	1. Chapter 1

Amy and Jake

Five-thirty in the morning, Jake had to laugh to himself when he saw how early it was, but JJ was an early riser, Jake blamed it on Amy, since he had been legendarily difficult to wake up for much of his life. 

“JJ, what’s up my man?” He held him in front of him as JJ smiled and kicked his legs.

“Dada, dada, dada.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile, JJ’s first word was mama, but he followed soon with dada and always wanted to play with his dad, making Amy a little jealous from time to time.

“Not too loud, JJ, we don’t want to wake up mama, she’s tired and she only has a little more time to sleep.” Jake put a finger over his mouth.

JJ did the same and said “ssshhh”, but louder than Jake wanted, but he couldn’t help but laugh.

JJ was eleven months old now, Jake had been unsure about being a father because of his own father, but as the past year had progressed, he had tackled two tasks that had terrified him, fatherhood and he had now been the sergeant over the detectives for nine months. Now, as he held JJ and walked downstairs to do their morning ritual of watching Scooby-Doo, he felt at peace, he loved JJ more than he could have ever imagined, and his time as sergeant had been met with success and even with four new detectives, everything was going smoothly.

An hour later, Amy came downstairs, “thanks for the sleep babe, JJ, where’s a hug for mama?” JJ hopped down from Jake’s lap and took a few uneven steps before giving up and crawling the rest of the way, quickly. Amy picked him up and kissed him as he giggled.

“Lieutenant are you ready for hobnobbing with the commissioner today?”

Amy frowned, if only for second before smiling again, “c’mon Jake, it’s not a big deal, but I’m excited. My new training program for officers at the nine-nine is getting national attention, yes I’m a dork, but it’s still pretty cool.”

Jake stood up and hugged her, “I’m just hackin on you, I’m super proud. This past year has been pretty amazing, JJ’s a stud and our jobs have been smooth, which is saying something…” Jake paused as he didn’t want to bring up all the difficulties that had preceded JJ’s birth.

Amy grinned slightly at him, “you mean me being kidnapped and you being squished in a dumpster?”

Jake gulped, feeling stupid, not wanting to worry her, “yeah.”

Amy shook her head, “Jake, we’ve had a great year, we are good, those things happened, but we are good. We don’t have to never mention them.” She kissed JJ on the cheek as he wiggled, “this guy helped us get over them pretty quickly.”

JJ started to wiggle more and then called out, “Dada, dada!”

Amy rolled her eyes, “okay baby JJ, go to your favorite.”

Jake took JJ and his eleven-month old son wrapped his arms around his neck tightly, “it’s not personal Ames, I’m just his play pal, you’ll be his favorite in a few years, you know, when he is more mature than me.”

Amy kissed Jake on the cheek, “I’m only a little jealous, but I’m also happy you are such a great dad, you were pretty worried, and for nothing.”

Jake nodded, “yeah, well, only child, sort of, and with my dad…but I also didn’t think I’d ever have such a hot and awesome wife and a baby with her DNA.”

“Well, this hot and awesome wife needs to hurry, your mom should be over soon to watch JJ, are you sure we pay her enough?”

Jake rolled his eyes, “we’ve been through this, she would do it free, but I insisted, this is the most she’d take, it helps her live a little better, but she’s happy to have so much JJ time. We don’t pay your mom when she watches him when my mom’s on vacation.”

“I know, but my mom has a lot of grandkids and is used to it, your mom is more social and does stuff.”

“Nah, this is good for her, my nana watched me, and it was the best thing that happened in my life as a kid, seriously.”

“Okay, I’ll get home at two or three, and I’ll start setting up for the barbeque, are you sure you can get away early today?”

“Hells yeah, I asked myself and I said yes. First time I’ve even come close to abusing my power.”

“I’m glad Charles, Genevieve and Nicolaj are coming over, Charles behaves a little better when they’re around.”

Jake nodded and smiled, “yeah, especially since Nicolaj’s school called home and said he drew a picture of his parents having sex, that made them a lot more careful, thank god.”

Jake

Jake hated to admit it, but he loved being a sergeant, he could advise on other detective’s cases without seeming like douche, and he got to know his detectives well, which allowed him to trust them and know their strengths. Rosa did a great job as head detective and held them to the same standard she held herself, which scared them sometimes, but Jake appreciated it because it meant they all toed the line. The new detectives, Sabatino, a younger Italian-American detective, Daniels, a middle aged black woman who was as tough as Rosa but as intellectual as Amy, Aguilar, a Filipino-American man, in his early fifties who loved strange food as much as Charles did, and Hartley, an attractive forty-something year old detective who covered the paperwork that Hitchcock and Scully did before they were forced into retirement in one day during the week and was then able to spend the rest of the week working cases with the other detectives.

The past few months, Jake had done his best to make time for Charles, he and Genevieve had some struggles, but Jake found out after they had worked through them, and it left him feeling terrible, Charles was always there for him. The barbeque they were hosting tonight was a weekly family get together, Amy liked Genevieve and they both were art majors in college, so they had a fair amount in common, and Nicolaj had taken to asking Amy a lot of questions about everything, she was impressed with how intelligent he was.

Jake was at his desk finishing his daily report when he saw Charles walk by, “Boyle, we’re still on for tonight, right? Today’s been crazy.”

Charles walked to his desk, “of course we’re still on, wouldn’t miss it. Aguilar and I made a lot of progress on the Amberson murder, I’m positive it’s the neighbor.”

“Cool, cool, cool, you guys work well together, but you can’t talk about your lunches with the others, Sabatino threw up the last time you did that.”

“Lightweight.”

Jake was about to leave early when Terry, now Captain Jeffords, called him into his office, “Jake, I know you’re on your way out, just quick bit of sad news, Officer Tad Hilton of the ninety-third was murdered today, while on duty, you and I will need to attend the funeral with Amy, I’ll let you know more as I find out.”

“I met him a few times, he was a good guy, a good cop. How’d it happen?”

Terry sighed deeply, “shot in the head, point blank, in his squad car. His partner was in the bank, no one saw anything, it’s a bad deal, if you could let your detectives know on your way out, I’d appreciate it.”

Amy and Jake

“Ames, JJ, I’m home!” Jake set his bag down and went into the kitchen, Amy was feeding JJ.

“Dada!” JJ spit out his peas, so he could wave at his dad.

“How was the shindig with Holt?”

Amy stood up and kissed him, “amazing, I used to work my ass of for his praise, now I get it by just doing my best, and I got meet the new mayor, who Holt does not like.”

“Then he must be bad, I voted for the other guy.”

“So did I, but he is the mayor. There were representatives from New Jersey, Vermont, some other states and even one from Oregon, which was crazy.”

“That’s awesome Ames, all because you are so damn efficient, not to mention smart.”

Amy blushed, “I don’t know about that, but it is a great honor. You better get changed and get your grill prepped. It’s cold out there too, no snow though.”

“No probs Ames, I don’t mind, if it’s for meat, it’s worth it.”

Two hours later, they were gathered around the dining room table with Charles, Genevieve and Nicolaj. “Jake, this is seriously good, it reminds me of the grilled grub worms I ate last week.”

Jake groaned, “Boyle, we talked about this, and by the way, comparing my short ribs to grub worms, not cool.”

“C’mon Jake, not what I meant, and I’ll be good.”

The rest of the meal was pleasant, Amy put JJ down for the night and Jake and Charles went out back for a beer, Genevieve didn’t allow drinking in front of Nicolaj.

“So, Charles,” Jake was uncomfortable with personal talk still, especially with Charles, but he knew Charles was always there for him, “everything going good with Genevieve now?”

Charles nodded, “yeah, thanks Jake, much better. She’s even talking about getting married, which would make me happy, we’ve been together for four years.”

“That’s great Charles, I’m happy for you man.”

“Thanks, Jake, it’s a bummer about Hilton, he was good guy.”

“Yeah, that sucked, Terry seems pretty worried about it, I think Holt might be under pressure already as commissioner because of it. Never easy being a black gay man with principles.”

“I mean, cops get killed far too often, but like that, point blank, that’s not normal. It gets you thinking, you know? I would hate to leave Nicolaj behind without a daddy, but I love my job.”

Jake sighed and nodded, “yeah, I feel ya, with all Amy and I have been through, I worry. I can’t imagine one of us dying with JJ so young, shitty stuff.”

“We’ve had some scrapes Jake, but we’re still standing, plus, you know I always got your back, and probably more importantly, so do Rosa and Terry.”

Jake hit Charles softly on the arm, “c’mon Boyle, you’re enough, you’ve saved my ass a few times, and Holt’s, Rosa’s and Terry’s, you’re a great cop.”

“Thanks Jake, I don’t always feel like it, you know, Mr. Grapes, going full Boyle.”

“Boyle, that was teasing, you might be easier to tease, but you’re still awesome, and still my best friend.”

Charles did the Boyle hug, hard and long, which always hurt Jake’s ribs, “thanks Jake, thanks for making sure we spend more time together, it’s meant a lot.”

Once Jake peeled Charles from him, he frowned, “Boyle, I was a dick, I was too caught up in everything, and you have never not been there for me, I had to do the same for you, and I always will, we’re Charles and Jake...”

Amy and Jake

Jake was reading his favorite Hellboy comic collection, a present from Terry when they discovered they bothloved dark sci fi type stuff, Amy was working on her second crossword of the night, when she set it down and looked over at Jake. “Genevieve told me they might get married, in a year or so.”

Jake set his book down, “yeah, Charles said the same thing, I’m happy for him, it hasn’t been easy lately, god I’m a dick.”

Amy leaned on him and kissed him, “you’re fine, we all get busy, we did have a baby after all, but I’m glad we’re doing this with them, it’s good for all of us.”

“We got too emotional, talking about Hilton getting murdered in the nine-three, you know how I feel about emotional displays, except with you, I’ve gotten way better with you.”

Amy smiled, “I know, but he’s Charles, you love him even though he’s a weirdo who’s overly obsessed with you.”

“True, but he’s also got my back and helped me out so many times, I just need to do the same.”

Jake was about to return to Hellboy when he felt Amy’s hand slip under his waistband, “Jake, focus, we’re both awake, JJ’s asleep, and we both have tomorrow off…”

Jake didn’t need anymore convincing, his book hit the floor with a soft thud, his own hands quickly going to Amy’s side, lifting her shirt off, his lips quickly finding breasts, laying soft kisses, Amy moaned.

“It’s been too long if you get this excited this quick, Ames.”

Amy didn’t respond, instead moving him lower, pushing him to give attention to her area of need. Jake pulled off her remaining clothes and gently began to lavish the attention Amy desired, his tongue soon working up and down on her as she moaned louder. Jake pulled himself up and entered her, moaning himself as he did so.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who was horny.” She then kissed him, deeply, then bit his lip playfully. 

It did not take long for Jake to finish either, as he finished, he rolled over, still breathing heavy, “fuck, Ames, life is too crazy, I barely think about not having it until we do, and then all I can think about is how dumb I am, and then life gets busy again.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another murdered police officer puts the pressure on and Jake gets help from an unlikely source.

Amy and Jake

Amy reached out the front door and felt around for the newspaper, she grabbed it and shut the door as the morning was exceptionally cold. As she opened her precious Sunday paper and sat on the couch, she let out a sound of surprise as she read the headline, Another Police Officer Killed In Brooklyn, she groaned as she read the article, which of course mentioned Commissioner Holt and the new mayor, Henry Ballard, who said that the NYPD needed to fix this problem and find the man responsible immediately.

Jake was cuddled up with JJ in the bed, he had woken up at three and had not fallen asleep again until five, and he didn’t want to risk him waking up, so he kept him with him on the bed. He felt the brush of Amy’s hand, she held up the paper as Jake took a few seconds to wake up and read it. When he comprehended it, he sat up and gingerly got off the bed without waking JJ.

They both waited until they were downstairs to start talking, “damn, Ames, this is not good. Terry had a feeling this could be the start of something. That new mayor is such a dick too,” Jake set the paper down in disgust.

Amy was biting her nails nervously, “this is bad Jake, really bad. First off, someone offing cops, but then the mayor using it to put pressure on Holt, that’s the worst thing that could happen, the worst.”

Jake reached out a hand to calm her, “I know, but we’ll catch this guy. I know Holt will put together some sort of task force, I bet the FBI will get involved too, we’ll catch this guy.”

Amy nodded numbly, “I hope so, this could make life difficult for all of us, not just safety wise, but it could make other cops overly paranoid and cruel, adding to Holt’s problems. It’s just not fair Jake, he’s such a good man, yet he’s always picked on.”

Jake sighed, “I know, but it will work out, I don’t know how, but it has to.”

“This is the type of thing we’ll have to deal with when JJ is older, the kids see the headlines or hear it on the radio and they either freak out or keep it inside and harbor the fear, which can be worse.”

Jake pulled Amy down, so she was sitting on his lap, “I know, I think about Nicolaj and if he sees this stuff, I can’t imagine what that conversation is like, I don’t look forward to that.”

Amy rested her head against him, “me neither, sorry to bum us out so much on a Sunday.”

“Hey, it’s real, it’s happening, it happens. We know this is life as a cop. the good and the bad.”

Amy

The next morning, Amy had a meeting with Terry and discussed the recent cop killings, even though neither had occurred within the nine-nine, both worried about how some officers might respond. Terry would handle the detectives and Amy would handle the uniformed officers, before she left, a question formed in her mind.

“Terry, what do you do with your girls when they see this stuff, it must be difficult.”

Terry nodded sadly, “Yeah, Cagney saw the headline and then showed the other girls, then Sharon found out and had to sit them down. It was hard on her, she said that they cried a little, it’s scary for them. I was out getting breakfast, so when I got back, I had to assure them of everything I do to be safe, but also let them know that no matter what happens, I will always love them.”

Soon, Amy found herself facing her officers, “We all know what is going on, in Brooklyn, so we need to focus on two things, the first being safety, the second one being focusing on not being paranoid. We can be careful and on the lookout for danger without flipping out and accusing the innocent, we must be careful during this difficult time for all of us.”

As Amy looked out at her officers, she could see fear and confusion on the faces of some, “listen, all of you know I was kidnapped and tortured, my husband has been shot, stabbed, crushed in a dumpster, hit by different car, and kidnapped as well, I understand the fears and questions in all of your minds, the most important thing to remember is do our jobs to the best of our ability, that means following all safety rules and regulations as well as following protocol for dealing with the public.”

After the briefing, Amy still wondered if she had helped anyone, she texted Jake.

Amy: Did my briefing, not sure I helped, how did yours go?

Jake: ok, terry did a good job, but a lot of fear, Sabatino knew this last officer killed, they were at academy together

Amy: That sucks, tough day

Jake: yep, Charles said nicolaj was scared for him, sucks

Amy: I love you

Jake: love you too, lootenant

Amy: You have got to learn how to spell that.

Jake

Later in the afternoon, Jake was discussing a case with Rosa and Sabatino when Gina came up to him.

“Jakester, there’s a dude on the phone, he says it’s urgent, like really urgent, I tried to do my normal routine, but he’s good, he called back, I stopped caring, take the call.”

Jake sighed from annoyance, “fine, Rosa, you guys are kicking butt, keep it up, let me know what you find there.” Rosa and Sabatino left, Jake picked up his phone and took the call.

“Is this Jake Peralta?”

Jake felt even more annoyed at Gina, “yes, Sergeant Peralta.”

“I didn’t know you were a sergeant, but I am calling on behalf of a third party, who like to meet to discuss details about the two cop murders, he thinks there will be more, and he’s pretty sure he knows who it is.”

Jake rolled his eyes, “look, if you know something, please share, but with all that is going on, we don’t need this crap right now.”

“I promise you, this is not a setup, you will be safe and given all the information he has. It’s up to you but follow the directions and they will lead you to more directions.” Jake was about to interrupt, but the caller continued, “go to the seven-eleven next to the Orange Julius in Bensonhurst, go to the chip aisle and pick up the second package of veggie crisps, the next directions will be there. If anyone but you and officer Boyle are there, everything gets called off and you get nothing.” The caller hung up.

Jake quickly ran into Terry’s office and explained everything while he had Gina find Charles, Terry told Jake to follow the lead with caution, as he left the office, he ran into Charles and explained what they were doing.

As they pulled up to the Seven-Eleven, they got out, both aware of everything around them, Boyle watched the door while Jake found the note, go to Nathan’s hot dogs, the third busiest in Brooklyn. As Jake read the note, he had a thought, this felt familiar, like when he had dealt with Doug Judy, the infamous Pontiac Bandit. Jake ran to the car and Charles looked up which location it was. When they pulled in the parking lot ten minutes later, a large drag queen walked up to the car and handed them a note, go to concert grove in Prospect Park.

Jake and Boyle both swore, that was a drive, but twenty minutes later they arrived, they had to exit the car to get to concert grove, when they arrived, there was a homeless man laying on the bench with a blanket covering him, Jake thought it must be him, he walked over and gently shook the man, the man turned and smiled.

“Sup Peralta? Miss me?”

Jake closed his eyes in frustration, “Doug Judy, I was starting to think it was you. What the hell? I have real work to do, and you’re a criminal, not best to tempt me.”

Judy looked hurt, “Peralta, I got info boo, I think I might know who it is.”

Jake looked doubtful, “okay, Pontiac Bandit, wanted for a huge list of crimes, who is it?

“That hurts Peralta, but see, the thing is, I don’t know his full name, but I heard stuff, they call him Huggy, it’s ironic because the dude aint huggy, but he’s a former banger, you know gangs.”

Jake counted to ten before answering, not wanting to seem to angry, “that’s all?”

“Nah dawg, he’s a white dude, so no need for profiling, but he’s a tall dude, he did time somewhere. Look, I couldn’t be too nosy, but I don’t want a psycho out killing cops, despite what I do, you guys always been nice with me, and you’re my best friend.”

Charles fake sneezed, “bullshit.”

“Bless you bro, you best take care of that, you’re nothing without your health.”

Jake sat down next to him, “Judy, I have some problems, one, without an actual name, what do I have? Second, I have to arrest you.”

Doug Judy seemed unphased, “Look, Peralta, no need for that, I’d only escape and make you look bad. Listen, you call the prisons, I know it was a New York one, that I do know, somewhere they have to have that.”

Jake rubbed his eyes as he tried to think, “listen, I’ll forget I saw you, but I need more, a lot more. Can you get me a name? The nickname is too hard to bank on, an alias is different, but only a nickname doesn’t help much.”

Judy looked pensive than snapped his fingers, “I know a guy that owes me a favor, old fella, knows everyone, I’ll check with him, that will be safe, dude owes me big. I’ll get back to you Peralta, by tonight, I promise. I’ll call you at the new house, well, about a year.”

Jake felt himself going red, “Judy, creepy revelation about knowing where I live aside, I’m putting my career on the line for you, they could demote me or fire me for this. I have a family.”

Doug Judy reached out and held onto Jake’s shoulder, “that’s why I’m doing this, for little Doug Peralta.”

Jake laughed despite himself, “yeah, no, his name is JJ, José Jacob, and he’s amazing.”

Judy smiled, “awesome, look at you, a daddy, it’s a special thing.”

“It is.” Charles added in.

Jake took a deep breath, “by tonight Judy, I need this, this guy is killing cops and several careers could hang in the balance.”

“Not a problem dawg, I got you.”

Amy and Jake

“Are you insane Jake?” Amy looked pissed, he thought she would, but he had to talk about this with her. He waited until JJ was in bed, so she’d have to be quiet, he had to hold his hands to remind her.

Jake had gone straight home, telling Terry that things took longer and he would explain later, but had to get home, which was true, because he had no idea what to do. “Ames, I think he’s got legit info, I need this more than I need him, he’d only make me look bad anyway.”

Amy glared at him, “Jake, this is serious stuff, if people found out, they could fire you.”

Jake stared at the table, “I know, I just had a gut feeling, I have to trust my gut Ames, it works for me, you know this.”

Amy reached out and held his hand, “I know babe, but this is Doug Judy, the Pontiac Bandit, he could be playing games, and if he does have a legitimate lead, what happens if he wants a favor?”

Jake fidgeted in his chair, “I know, I know, I fucked up, I’m just trying to do what’s best, and I just thought that getting the killer off the streets was best, for everyone.”

The phone rang, saving Jake from whatever she had next, he got up and answered it. “Hello?”

“Peralta, how’s your wife doing?”

“Judy, what do you have for me.” Amy stood up and put her head to the phone.

“My guy, he said the dude’s last name Sampson, he don’t know the first name, but Huggy Sampson, white dude, got busted for gang related stuff like ten years ago, did like six months, he was in the army before that, but he came back worse I guess. He’s got tats too, he’s got a Jordan 23 on his left arm.”

“Are you sure, this is all true, all good info?”

“Peralta, I swear man, this is the goods, with this, you have a chance of at least making things harder for the dude. I gotta run, I’ll keep in touch, bye boo!”

And with that, Jake was left holding the phone as a wide-eyed Amy stared at him. “Okay Peralta, what are you going to do? You have to tell Terry, and should probably tell Holt, he might understand knowing your relationship with Judy.”

“This sucks, I’m screwed, I just wanted to help, but I could be screwed, but it’s the right call, it could save lives.”

Jake texted Terry, “get holt and meet me at nine-nine in an hour, important information

Amy hugged him after reading the text, “I’m proud of you, and turned on, you know how that moral compass gets me going.”

“Save it for later, right now my stomach is churning, I hope I still have a job when I get back.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake meets with Holt and Terry to tell them the deal he made with Doug Judy and he and his squad are given an impossible task.

Jake

Jake was sweating, a lot, he had screwed up in the past, in worse ways, he thought, but this was his first big mistake as a sergeant. He knew or at least thought and hoped that Terry and Holt would give him the benefit of the doubt, but he had also failed to arrest a wanted criminal, this was big. As he entered the nine-nine, he could feel his heart beating, or pounding as he thought of it and he was acutely aware of every little noise, when he exited the elevator he could see Terry and Holt both in Terry’s office.

Jake entered the office and exchanged greetings, he sat down next to Holt, “Peralta, what do you have for us? Who was the contact?”

Jake felt himself go cold, he was nervous, but he had to get this out, “well…it was Doug Judy sir.” His mouth felt incredibly dry all of a sudden.

Holt actually blinked in amazement and Jake thought he actually saw his eyes get bigger, “The Pontiac Bandit, I take it you met with him, but did not arrest him, correct?”

Jake sighed, “yes sir, I met with him, he gave me a nickname and description, and then called me with a last name.”

Holt stared at him for a second, Terry made a nervous noise behind his desk, “Jake, we understand the need for information for this case, but was it a good call to not arrest him?” Terry eyed Holt nervously after speaking.

Jake shifted uncomfortably in his seat, aware of how close he was seated to Holt, “It was the call I had to make, I wanted to arrest him, I wanted to so badly, but my thought was that if he can help us bring in this psycho, I should make the call, but in the end, it was my decision, no excuses, so I will accept whatever punishment this brings.”

Holt nodded, “Peralta, I cannot say for certain right now if it was the right move to make, but I do understand your situation, your maturity in this is impressive, I myself have made these decisions, to this day I do not know if they were the best move, but they saved lives and helped others, so it was the right move, I hope yours is. What information did you get from Mr. Judy?”

“The information is not complete, but it’s a start, the last name is Sampson, he was in the military, his nickname is Huggy, which is supposed to be ironic, he did time for gang related stuff, we believe it was in New York for and for at least six months, and he has a tattoo of Jordan 23 on his left arm.”

Holt remained silent for a second, “it could be worse, I will instruct my people at headquarters to begin the search for the man’s full name, record, and picture.”

“Jake, it’s information, more than we had, I think it was a good call. Commissioner Holt and I have talked and have made a decision,” Jake braced himself as he thought he would be demoted, “you will keep your duties as sergeant, but you will also lead your team to find this guy. All our other cases will go to other precincts for the time being, and you and your squad will dedicate all of your time to this case and finding a way of stopping him.”

Jake sat silent, stunned and confused, he processed things for a few seconds, but time didn’t help his confusion. “What? You want me to be in charge of finding this guy? Me?”

Terry smiled, “Jake, you have done an amazing job as sergeant, and while the Doug Judy call was risky, I think you made the right call. You have to make a lot of difficult decisions I leadership positions, it comes with the territory, it’s never easy, but this case needs your mind, we know you can do this.”

Holt nodded in approval, “I agree, and you will have every resource that you need, but I think the most important piece will be you trusting yourself and your team, follow your gut, despite it seeming overly risky at times.”

“Thank you sir, I will try to make you not be sorry for this, it’s just that, well, there’s a lot riding on this.”

“There is,” Holt agreed, “but I know you and your fellow detectives here at the nine-nine can do this, like you always have.”

Amy and Jake

Jake was smiling as he entered the house, he was anxious to see Amy’s reaction to this. Amy was reading at the table, next to the baby monitor, when she heard him, she turned around, “How bad was it? Wait, you’re smiling…Jake?”

Jake sat down next to her and tried to play it nonchalant, but he didn’t last long. “Sooo, it turns out they weren’t mad, they thought I took a risk, but one that should be made. Holt said it’s hard to see whether it’s the best choice, but then…well, they are taking all the cases from the nine-nine and putting me in charge of finding this guy.”

Amy was motionless at first, “holy shit! Jake, that’s amazing!” She stood up and hugged Jake as he sat, “that’s incredible for him to place so much faith in you. Jake, moral compass and now receiving praise and getting a special assignment…”

Jake grinned, “let me guess, someone’s horny?”

Amy nodded, but before she could show him, the monitor blared with the sound of JJ crying. Jake shook his head, Amy brushed his cheek, “hopefully this won’t last long, just be ready.”

Jake laughed, “kids, the ultimate cock blockers.”

Amy made a face, “gross, don’t say that about our baby, but yes, it’s true.”

Jake was in bed and on his laptop sending emails to his squad informing them of what was happening and that they would need to do write ups of all of their cases first thing tomorrow and hand over the files to Terry and be ready to have a briefing session at eleven. As he sent the last email, Amy jumped on the bed and kissed him passionately, almost causing him to drop his laptop.

“Ames, take it easy, this is the department’s, I already owe them for a few phones, that dozerpad, and actual ipad, and bullet proof vest I left on the subway.”

Amy said nothing in reply as her hands pulled him closer and started kissing his neck and jaw line. Jake replied by lifting her shirt off, Amy took her hands off of him and then slid his shirt and shorts off, before he could do anything else, Amy leaned over and took Jake’s growing erection in her mouth, Jake groaned from surprise and jumped a little. Amy found a rhythm as Jake closed his eyes, “Ames, if we want it to be us sex and not just me sex, you should stop now.”

Amy pulled off of Jake as he grinned at her, “what are you smiling at sergeant?”

Jake laughed, “I don’t know if I find that sexy or not, I still think of Terry as sarge, so mixed feelings.”

Amy caressed his cheek softly, “Didn’t you ever worry, you know, once we had JJ, no more this, no more excitement or chemistry?”

Jake shrugged, “Not really, but I don’t think about that part, I focused on how crappy I’d be, plus, you’re hot, so even if I’m not getting somes, you’re nice to look at.”

Amy rolled her eyes at him and then climbed on top of him, as Jake entered her, she looked deep in his eyes and kissed him deeply. As their bodies began to move in sync together, their kissing grew more intense, Jake thought he was going to finish too soon, and just as he was going to warn her, he heard her warning sounds which pushed him over the edge.

A few minutes later after they caught their breath, Amy sighed contently, “I know we don’t do this as much you like…”

Jake interrupted her, “Ames, I’m a guy, I would prefer it a lot, but I’m also a decent person who gets that you have moods, a job, and we have a baby, so I’m happy, really, although things could get really busy now that I’m in charge of finding the cop killer.”

Amy rolled over to look at him, “you sound nervous about this.”

“Yeah, honestly, I am. This new mayor, he’s after Holt, so I feel like once again I have to do well for him, so double the pressure.”

“He trusts you Jake, he’s using the people he trusts the most and knows are above the politics.”

“I hope that’s a good move, a lot on the line.”

Jake

Once the detectives of the nine-nine had finished the write-ups of their cases and handed them to Terry, they gathered in the conference room. There was a somber feeling, Jake had let them know how important this was and that time was an issue. Jake stood in front of them and observed them a second before starting.

“Okay, you all know what’s going on, but here’s how it will work. Hartley, you will cover all calls delaing information regarding this case as well as researching the hell out of this. You are the best at that, we will need your skills and brains to assist and guide us. Daniels and Sabatino will work together, you guys will do leg work, talking to all witnesses and scouring the area where the attacks happened. Rosa and Aguilar will cover leads and investigate the eastern half of Brooklyn, and Charles and I will cover the west half.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, Rosa tentatively raised her hand, “Are you sure you want to be out too? You don’t have to…”

Jake put up a hand, “I know, but we need man power, and I honestly think Hartley is our best resource on the computers and phones, we use software she created.” Hartley smiled, “the other divisions I think are our strengths, Sabatino and Daniels are intimidating without Rosa’s intensity,” Rosa nodded, “Aguilar and Diaz work well together, he calms her down and Charles and I are good at bouncing ridiculous ideas that tend to work off of each other. We will debrief everyday at five, and then decide if we need to work longer that day or change our tactics. Captain Jeffords is sending everyone detailed files of what we have, take a few minutes to go read those, then start working. We have very little to go on, but Doug Judy’s known area is in the east half, Rosa, you know his old turf, hit it hard and ask tough questions. Charles and I will talk to sympathetic gang members and snitches who may know something.”

Jake dismissed them and was headed to his desk when Terry called him to his office, “Jake, sit down, I just wanted to let you know some things Holt didn’t say, not to add pressure, but to warn you of possible issues.”

Jake sat down, “you mean the less than honorable Mayor Ballard, and him being a dick and putting pressure on Holt?”

Terry nodded glumly, “you got it, but it’s worse than you know. Ballard is a homophobe, he may not show it in public, but he’s been blunt about it in meetings, ones I’ve been in. No one wants to say something to the press for fear of him suing, which he’s done a lot, and won, a lot. Commissioner Holt really needs us to do this for him, you’re the man for this Jake, whether you think so or not.”

“Cool, no pressure, cool, cool, cool.”

Terry smiled, “Jake, you will be fine. You work well under pressure, better than Terry, I get anxious and either over eat or stop and exercise. The other concern I have is if your names get out there as being on the case. If any of you suspect dangers or feel uneasy, let me know and I will assign a watch outside your places, this is serious stuff Jake, gravely serious.”

“I know Terry, believe me, anything about the maybe existing Huggy Sampson.”

Terry sighed, “yeah, we know who he is,” Terry pulled a file from his desk and read it, “Hubert James Sampson, he went by Jimmy as kid, then Huggy. He was in the marines, but was dishonorably discharged, then rejoined a gang he was in before his military service, then he was arrested and did six months in Otisville, getting off early because a military psychologist pleaded his case. We have an old picture, but he was special ops, he’s good at being stealthy and there’s no record of him, at all, for past three years. No taxes, no arrests, no pictures, nothing. His last known address was Cypress Hills, but that was four years ago, he moved after that, but no one knows where. He has been off the grid, which is not going to make this easy. Gina’s printing off copies of all the info we have.”

Jake sat in silence for a moment, “this sucks ass Terry, I don’t know how we will do this. We’re after a ghost.”

“You’ve done the impossible before Jake, you can do it again.”

Jake nodded, “yeah, cool, no pressure.” Jake talked with Terry for a few more minutes before handing out the copies of all the information on Sampson to his squad, everyone nodded and said nothing, but Jake could see the comprehension on their faces of the near impossible task that they were currently facing.

Jake cleared his throat, “squad, listen, I know this seems intimidating, maybe even impossible, but I have faith in us. Holt and Captain have faith in us, we all have our strengths, we can use them and solve this and make Brooklyn safe for our fellow cops as well as the public. We have to be safe, if any of us suspect we are being followed or that the suspect knows we are on the case, let me know and Captain will put a watch on our places. I know this is a lot to take and work on, but we are the best shot the department has, we have crazy good arrest rates and since Scully and Hitchcock were forced to retire, we have not had one complaint. Read the profile carefully, get to know this guy, get to think like he would, get to put yourself in his shoes, go places he would. The best detectives can think like the criminal, which can be depressing, but we do it to protect our families, I for one will feel much better when this guy is off the streets.”

The detectives clapped and high fived, Charles hugged Jake, and Jake didn’t even complain since they were about to face a difficult time, more so than any of them could imagine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake begins to feel exhausted and down about the case, the case the begins to feel more personal.

Amy and Jake

The next two days at work were intense and long for Jake and his squad, as Friday rolled around, he groaned from exhaustion as he got out of bed at five.

“Jake?” Amy whispered, she was asleep when Jake got home at midnight, she was trying to be home more for JJ as she also balanced being lieutenant of the nine-nine during a time of crisis.

“Sorry Ames, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Jake rubbed her leg gently.

“Jake, you can’t keep going like this, you’ll burn yourself and your squad out, quickly.”

Jake sighed, “I know, I let them go at eight last night, I stayed looking into a few things.”

Amy sat up and wrapped her arms around him, “are they coming in early?”

“Yeah, but not until seven, I want to get things ready for our briefing.”

“Do you have any new leads on your suspect?”

Jake shook his head sadly, “no. I don’t know what else to do, we’ve put out pictures, we’ve hit all known relatives and former residences, but all it did was back up what we knew, but we still have nothing concrete tying this guy to anything, in fact nothing tying him to Brooklyn in the past three years, so while what we know could easily make him our guy, we don’t know for sure, and may never know.”

Amy kissed him gently, “babe, you’re doing your best, something will give. You need to take care of yourself too.”

Jake laid his head against hers, “I know, but this is for Holt, you and he are the reason I’m a sergeant and not a fired detective who couldn’t play well with others. Plus, I think the killer’s about to strike again, I can’t even tell you why, other than it’s been a while and the media attention is starting to die down a bit.”

“Can you at least take an hour for lunch today? I’ll ask your mom to bring JJ over and have Gary grab us some hot dogs and orange soda.”

Jake smiled, “that sounds amazing. I will make sure to be at the precinct at noon.”

Jake

At six, Jake was sitting as his desk when Terry came in running, “Peralta, what the hell are you doing here? You need sleep and family time man, but I’m glad you’re here, the bastard struck again, the nine-seven, Officer Cohen, a rookie detective there.”

Jake slammed his hand on his desk, “fuck! Holt and I interviewed him, he was good, just not as good as the ones we hired, he seemed like a good guy though. We are getting no closer and this guy is taking out more cops…” Jake’s head was spinning as thoughts came to him, “Terry, are we sure it’s the same guy, Cohen was a detective, so to know he was a cop, in plain clothes…”

Terry placed a hand on his shoulder, “he left a note this time, as for how knew Cohen was a cop, I have no idea.”

Jake threw his file down, “do you know what the note said?”

“No, not yet, it should be in your email now, everything about this guy comes to you first.”

Jake texted Amy about the news, read his emails with the new details and then printed out copies of the note for his morning briefing and finished his preparations. As the detectives filed in the briefing room at seven, Jake handed each of them a coffee, “drink up, wake up, I know I’m asking a lot of you…”

Rosa interrupted, “that’s not what we’re worried about, when did you leave last night? Aguilar forgot his wallet and came back at eleven for it and you were still here.”

Jake tried to grin, “I just feel a lot of responsibility for this case, that’s all. Feeling the pressure, I guess.”

“Jake, I mean sergeant, you are doing all you can, we can’t ask more than that, no one can.”

Jake nodded numbly, “I know, but I just have to, that’s all I can say. So, he struck again, he left a note, study it.” Jake hit a button on the remote in his hand, the note popped up on the screen, it read, “as you see, no one is safe, not even detectives, I know you, I will find you, anyone who helps you will also die. See you soon.”

The detectives discussed their plans for the morning, the others received their orders, then Jake faced them again, “Charles and I are going to visit Dorothea Judy, Doug’s mom and see if there is anything else I’m missing from Doug. I doubt much will come from it, but maybe his connection is a personal one, remember, the worst of the escaped convicts a few years back was his foster brother, so it’s worth a look, plus, I have a bad feeling that the killer might know Judy is helping us.”

As Jake dismissed the detectives, all of them left but Alita Daniels, she was the last one remaining, “Sarge,” Jake looked up, “Please don’t kill yourself doing this. I was a psychology major, actually I have a master’s degree in it, you cannot keep going like this.”

Jake smiled tiredly, “I know, Thanks Alita. I just feel responsible, this deals with Holt too, I know you got here after him, but he stuck his neck out for us, a lot, I can’t do anything but my best.”

Alita placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, “I know, he’s the reason I became a cop, he came and talked to my college when he was stuck in public affairs, but he needs you at your best, and you have a beautiful wife and son, they need you too.”

“How about you Daniels, I know you’re divorced, any kids?” He felt bad for not knowing this about her.

She shook her head sadly, “no, not living, my son died of leukemia, it drove a wedge between my ex and I, I was working, a lot, to try and forget my sadness. I love my job, but it’s not worth sacrificing the best things in life.”

As Charles drove he and Jake to Doug Judy’s mother’s house, Jake couldn’t help but think of what Daniel’s had said. He had planned on working all weekend, but he now wondered if it was worth it and whether it would actually help him more than taking a day off. 

“A lot on your mind Jakey?”

Jake turned, “too much Charles. Something tells me Hubert or Huggy or whoever the killer is knows Judy is involved, I wanted him to be in prison for his crimes, not die, especially not be killed by this psycho. This guy could be hiding anywhere Charles, a state away, a few states away and only come in to kill, we know nothing really…”

“Jake, I get it, you’re in charge of this, our sergeant, but we all have your back and will do all we can to bring this guy in.”

“Thanks Charles, I just hope it’s actually possible.”

Charles rang the doorbell as Jake tried to act natural, he had met Judy’s mom before, she was actually a lovely person who may not have had knowledge of her son’s crimes.

The door opened, the small black woman with a big smile, her smile vanished when see saw Jake, “Detective, what’s he done now?”

Jake coughed nervously, trying to gain composure, “Mrs. Judy, you know me?”

She laughed dryly, “of course, I knew he lied when we met, I should have known, I just always hoped for him. His father, god rest his soul, would have hunted him down, he was a god fearing man, an accountant.”

She ushered Jake and Charles inside, they sat down, “Now, what has he done? Did you finally catch him?”

Jake shook his head, “no, he helped me in the case I’m working, the man who’s killed three policemen.”

“Dear God, why does Doug know anyone like that? That boy, he always thought he was so much smarter than everyone else, I always told him it would end badly.”

Jake gulped, “well…he heard something from someone he knows, he just said some old fella, who knows everyone and owes him a favor.”

“Son of bitch.” Jake and Charles both jumped as she said this, “pardon my language, but I am fairly certain I know who the old fella is, the same idiot who introduced my Dougie to a life of crime and made it seem appealing, and the stupid son of a bitch who helped him steal his first Pontiac.”

Jake glanced at Charles, “and if you don’t mind ma’am, who is that?”

Mrs. Judy shook her head, “my youngest brother, Joseph Donaldson. That man’s been a pain in my ass since the day he was born, he did nothing at home, gave my parents grief, then he became an idol to my youngest son and you know the rest.”

Jake had no knowledge of an uncle of Doug’s with a record, but he was good at hiding things, “do you think he knows where Doug is? I’m afraid the killer we’re after might know that Doug or his uncle said something.”

She held up a finger and picked up her large cordless phone, she stared for second before pressing the buttons and putting it to her ear, “Hello yourself Joseph. Yes, of course this is Dorothea. What do you know about this police killer out there?” She frowned as she listened, “of course, of course you knew him. Well, thank goodness Doug did something right and told his police friend, but now you two need to be careful, that boy you started off selling weed for you might just kill the both of you. Yes you, Old Joe Donaldson, the old man all the bangers think is so cool, your own stupidity might actually kill you.” She slammed down the phone.

“I should have asked where he lives, but I think he’ll be in hiding now, I’ll get you a list of places he might be.” Dorothea or Mrs. Judy stood up slowly, Jake thought she aged during the conversation, she returned minutes later with a list. She handed it to him, “this was a list Doug made me, he said if he didn’t contact me for a while, he was probably dead in one of these damned places.” She paused as tear slid slowly down her cheek, “I’m too old for this nonsense, no one deserves to worry about a child like this, yet so many do. Check these places detectives but be careful. Doug loves you Mr. Peralta, he may not show it like a normal human being, but the fact that he put his butt on the line and told you, he loves you.” She took his hand and grabbed one of Charles’, “both of you, please be careful, I’ve seen my share of bad cops during my lifetime living in Brooklyn, but you two don’t strike me as that, especially you,” she playfully released Charles’ hand and poked his stomach, “you have kindness written all over your face.”

Jake and Charles were both quiet as they left Mrs. Judy’s home, Charles spoke first, sadly looking at the house in the rearview mirror, “she might be the sweetest and wisest old lady I’ve ever met.”

Jake nodded, “I know, I know, I hate this. I’m glad Doug helped us, this guy has to be caught, but this could end really badly for him.”

Charles clicked his teeth nervously, “copy that. I don’t like this case, I think this guy knows more about us than we do about him.”

Amy and Jake

Jake was somber as he returned to the precinct, he wrote a detailed report of the visit, made copies of the addresses given to him by Dorothea and walked into Terry’s office. To his surprise, Amy was seated in front of Terry’s desk, in full uniform, but holding a sleeping JJ.

“Ames,” Jake croaked it, rather than said it. “I guess you can hear this too,” He smiled sadly at Amy and their sleeping son, “Doug Judy’s mom was a goldmine, a sad one though. She does know her son’s a crook, and her brother was Doug’s source and his inspiration to live a life of stupidity. She gave us a list of places where her brother might be hiding, and Doug might be with him. The brother’s name is Joseph Donaldson, he has places or hideouts all over Brooklyn and one in Queens. I made copies of the addresses, we might need some uniformed officers to check them out as well.” Jake slumped into the chair next to Amy, “I feel like I’m in over my head. Every big case I work has personal connections or tragedies. Gotta cigarette Amy?” 

Amy smiled tenderly at Jake, “Jake, you have done incredible, it’s just a bad coincidence that Doug Judy is this connected to this, I know you both love and hate him, this can’t be easy, I’m sorry.”

Terry did his sad smile which always made Jake uneasy, “Peralta, you are doing great. Holt is pleased with the progress you’ve made and your decisions. Just today he told me we chose the right man for the job.”

“I wish that made me feel better, but I am taking a long lunch with my wife and son, not hotdogs in the conference room, let’s go someplace nice, even with JJ, we deserve it.”

Terry stood up and reached over and shook Jake’s shoulder, “that’s the spirit, you have to take care of yourself, and you are not working the entire weekend, divide it up, and if we have no leads or other places to check out, people can think about it at home. I’ll let your detectives know what’s going on and when you get back from your lunch, you and Charles can check out a few places on the list.”

As they were seated at their table at Tanoreen, Amy’s favorite middle eastern food that wasn’t street meat, Jake held the still sleeping JJ in his arms, glancing down sadly at him from time to time.

“Jake,” she eyed him carefully to gage his response, “why are you so down about this?”

Jake shrugged “I wish I knew, but it’s just all bad. A killer no one has seen for at least three years, that we know of. A killer with ties to a sort of friend, which could lead back to me, I think he already knows who we are, seriously, I just think he killed Cohen from just one precinct over to send a message.”

Amy felt confused, “a message to you?”

Jake nodded, “yeah, do you know who the Sergeant of detectives is over at the nine-seven now?”

Amy slowly nodded, “Lohank, right?”

“Yeah,” Jake turned to avoid eye contact, “he told me a couple of months ago they call him, Cohen that is, they called Peralta Jr., being Jewish and a little of a lone wolf, he liked the name and put it on his jackets and crap like that.”

Amy scooted as close to the table as she could, acting like someone they didn’t want to could hear their conversation, “are you serious, did you tell Terry?”

Jake glanced at her and lowered his head, “no, but I didn’t think of it until I was at Judy’s mom’s house.”

JJ woke up as their food came and Jake shared his food with him as he tried to keep him from throwing it and spilling everything. Jake was stopping JJ from spilling his water when he noticed Amy staring sadly.

“Ames are you okay?”

She looked at him deeply and sadly for a second, “Jake, I think your gut is telling you, be careful, we have too much to lose, each of us if anything happens to the other.”

“I know, I will be. I don’t even know if it’s me in danger or those that work with me or my snitches or what, but I just don’t like this case. Charles said the same thing, it just gives me the hee-bee jee-bees.”

Amy reached around held his hand gently, “babe, just listen to your gut, be careful, the little man you’re holding would be devastated if something happened to his Da-da.”

Jake glanced at JJ, who smiled up at him, “I know Ames, I know. I’ll be careful, and I’m taking the weekend off, I’ve put in close to sixty hours already this week, on Wednesday I didn’t get home until eleven, talked to you and then was reading files until three and woke up at six.”

Jake

That afternoon, Charles and Jake took the locations on the list farthest from where they happened, both to be nice and because of something Jake’s gut told him. He thought the perp was watching them, but smart enough to stay a distance away, if he knew Old Joe well, he could easily know his hideouts and safehouses. 

They pulled up to an old apartment complex in Jamaica, Queens. Jake looked at the address on the list again and shook his head, “let’s talk to the super first, the website says there’s a small office in the back.”

The super was older Romanian man, he hated his place, but his son who owned it didn’t want to upgrade, so their clientele varied from young professionals to some gang types, or so Mr. Alexander said. When he looked at the apartment number, the old man got nervous, “that’s not a good place, they pay in cash, every month, never checks, I never see anyone who lives there, I don’t like that place, be careful.”

Jake and Charles left his office running, they took their guns out and preceded carefully, as they reached the landing on the fifth floor where the apartment was, the door of the apartment they were headed to slammed shut, Charles pointed his gun at the door while Jake knocked, no answer of course. Jake was done waiting, he told Charles to back up and kicked the door in, “Police!” The door was chained and bolted so it took three kicks to bust it open. As they entered the apartment, there was no sign of anyone, they darted around the apartment looking, eventually lifting the window, the fire escape was empty as well. 

“Jake! You’ll want to see this.”

Jake went in the bedroom, there laid out on the bed were pictures of Jake, Doug, Rosa, Amy, and Holt, and a hand-written note, matching the handwriting from the other note, reading, “close, but no cigar.”

“Fuck! It’s definitely Sampson, I swear, this guy is pissing me off, we have to find him Charles!”

As they returned to the precinct after forensics scoured the place, Jake talked with Terry before going home. “Terry, Captain, I’m not coming in this weekend. You decide who comes in, I can’t, I’m fried, I’m scared, and I’m sure he’s going to a place we won’t know about now.”

Terry nodded, “You got it Jake, I’ll have Rosa lead a small squad tomorrow, and everyone gets Sunday off. We’re no good if we’re sleep deprived and on edge, also, Holt is assigning all precincts in the area to set up watches around the homes of everyone Sampson had pictures of.”

“Thanks Terry, that’ll make me feel a little better.”

“Jake,” he turned around to face a solemn Terry, “be careful man, JJ deserves to have dad around for his birthdays.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The killer strikes again and crosses a line, making things personal.

Amy and Jake

The weekend was peaceful, Jake got updates from Rosa, they didn’t find anything at any of the addresses on the list and no new killings had occurred. Saturday, Amy and Jake took JJ to the zoo, where despite the near freezing temperatures, JJ loved seeing the animals and Amy and Jake just soaked up his happiness, the fact that he was so blissfully unaware of the ugliness around him in the world. Sunday, Victor and Camila came over and they just focused on watching JJ play with his gama and gapa. Sunday night, Jake checked his emails and sighed loudly as he read his emails.

“Jake, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, that’s the problem, nothing else has happened, I know this killer will strike again, I just don’t think we’ll find anything else before he does.”

“Hmmm.” 

Jake looked at her, that was her thinking sound, but it also meant she had an idea she wanted to share but was afraid to share because she hated people thinking she was a know it all. “Alright Ames, what are you thinking?”

“Well…it’s just that he can’t have gotten everything from that apartment, I know you have it under surveillance, but if this guy is good at stealth, I just think it would be worth it if you, the detective with the gut that solves cases ,to observe things again and just feel it out.”

Jake grinned at her, “that’s a good thought, I’ll take Charles with me after our morning briefing.”

“I’m glad you’re taking him with you on this case, he’ll watch extra carefully after you.”

Jake

The briefing was quiet, everyone was feeling more rested, but the daunting task of bringing in the killer was no closer to being done that it had at the beginning, even if they knew more about him. “Listen, squad, I know we’re down right now, I know I am, as my dear nana used to say, “this sucks balls.”

A few of them laughed, Charles especially, “sorry, but even though it doesn’t feel like it, we’re doing good work. We’re forcing him into smaller real estate, taking away some of his spots to hide and his picture is at all the precincts. We haven’t sent it to the public yet, because he hasn’t been seen at all, so it doesn’t make sense to put people in harms way, but that might happen if the commissioner feels it would benefit the case and not put innocent people in harm’s way.”

Jake made the assignments for the day and left with Charles, they were mostly quiet on the drive to Queens, until Cat’s in the Cradle came on the radio. Charles sniffled a lot and Jake forced himself not to, “That damn song, gets me every time, that was my story, I don’t want it to be JJ’s story.”

Charles smiled, “you’re a great dad Jake, you spend time with your family. Genevieve has been able to stay at home more since her brother took over as curator of her gallery, and I try. It’s hard with this job.”

Jake nodded, “sure is, especially with this case. I think we should get extra time off after this case is over. You haven’t taken a vacation for a while, you should Charles.”

“Yeah, I know, Nicolaj has school and this summer was when Genevieve and I were arguing, so I’ll talk to her, I’d love that. We’ve wanted to go to Latvia with Nicolaj, and it’s a lot cheaper to fly and get hotels in spring.”

“Do it Charles, you gave Amy and I an awesome wedding gift, and since you and Genevieve have never gotten married, I’ll buy your tickets, consider it a wedding gift for whenever it happens.”

“Thanks, Jakey, that’ll motivate me, Genevieve has wanted to do it.”

As they pulled up the apartment complex, three cop cars were there. Jake got out quickly and pulled an officer over and showed him his badge, “hey, Sergeant Peralta, the nine-nine, what happened?”

The officer, a tall thin man frowned, “we were about to call you sir, your crime scene was revisited and had another crime.”

“What?”

“You better come up sir, it’s pretty grizzly and there’s a note. We just got here a few minutes ago and my sergeant just told us this was your crime scene and investigation.”

Jake followed with Charles, as they entered the small apartment, Jake’s heart dropped and the rage he had felt in case began to boil over as he saw the bloodied corpse of Doug Judy laying on the table. Jake closed his eyes to quell his rage and fight any tears, on the body of his sometimes friend was the note.

He helped, he died. Be careful Peralta, you could be next.

Jake took a deep breath, “officers, could you give me and my partner a minute in here. This guy was an informant, and kind of a friend. His mother is the nicest woman you could hope to meet. I’m the Peralta in the note…”

The officers nodded glumly and left the apartment for a moment. Jake stood close to Charles and whispered with force, “this sucks Charles, I want to scream, but I have to keep calm. This guy is getting personal and we’re not any closer actually apprehending him. I don’t know how much longer I can do this case, it’s too personal Charles, he had a picture of Amy, of my fucking wife besides the one of Judy.”

“Sorry Jake, this does suck, we should go tell Doug’s mom. It’d be better if two people she met did it, you know…”

Jake nodded, “yeah, I do. Good call Charles.”

Jake looked down at Doug Judy, the Pontiac Bandit who had alluded him and escaped time after time, he felt no anger, no sense of I told you so, just a sadness, the sadness of seeing someone who tried to help him lose his life to a senseless act of violence. He looked at this man who shouldn’t have been anything close to a friend, yet still, he was. Jake took a deep breath, Charles knew he was about to say goodbye to Doug Judy, so he turned around and looked away.

“Doug Judy, you did some stupid things my friend. You broke the law, you were hard to find, you made me look stupid, a lot, yet, I’m going to miss you. Your poor mom may never get over this buddy, I’m so sorry this happened…but thanks for helping, you didn’t have to, but you were better than you gave yourself credit for, It’s all so fucked up man…he’s killed four people now…I’m sorry you had to die like this, but I’m glad you never had to go to prison, you were a free man, you lived life on your terms. Shalom.”

Charles came back and just put his arm around Jake, which was great restraint for him, Jake lost it and felt the tears coming, “we have to find this guy Charles…he’s killing good people…I mean, holy fuck Charles, he’s fucking killing cops…and a snitch with a heart, god dammit, this shit stops now. No more! We have to find him, I mean it Charles, we have to, I can’t fucking take this anymore.”

Charles patted him on the back, “we will Jakey, we will.”

Amy

Amy was filling out the rosters for the next month when Andy, her secretary brought her mail in, Amy thanked him and opened up a few letters, then she opened one in an official NYPD envelope, she opened it and dropped it as she read it.

Lieutenant, you might want to warn your husband to back off, or he might end up like Doug Judy and the others, past and future but no spoilers.

Amy fumbled for her phone and called Jake.

“Hey Ames.” He sounded down.

“Jake, what happened to Doug Judy?”

“What the hell? How could you know that?”

She took a deep breath, “I just got a letter from the killer telling me to have you back off or you might end up like Doug Judy, and the others, past and future.” She fought her emotions, she was a lieutenant, she was the best shot in the department and could take down men twice her size, yet this was her family being threatened.

Jake broke down again, “Ames, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for brining you into this, for brining Doug into his, for bringing me into this, I don’t know if I can do this…”

“Jake,” Amy found her resolve again, “Jake, listen, you have nothing to be sorry for. Doug Judy contacted you, this is our job, we know the dangers. You are fine.”

“I have to call Holt and then tell the bad news to Judy’s mom, that is going to suck.”

“I’m sorry babe, I love you.”

“Love you too, see you soon.”

Amy took a moment to regain her calm and walked upstairs to see Terry, the floor was busy, and she moved without much notice to his office. “What’s up Amy?”

Amy sat before speaking, “Did Jake call you?”

Terry nodded, “yeah, Doug Judy, how’s he taking it?”

“Not good, despite what he said, he had a big soft spot for him.”

“I know, he didn’t talk much to me. Can he handle staying on this case? It’s gotten way personal, it’s asking a lot of anyone to keep it up with all that’s happened.”

“I know, I’ll talk to him tonight. He’s going to be hurting, and it’s even worse with all he went through when I was kidnapped…”

“Yeah, Holt wants me to talk to him tomorrow, he wants him to have the night to reflect, but even Holt is thinking it’s too much with all that has happened to Jake, past and present.”

Jake

The ride to Doug Judy’s mom’s house seems surreal, but now, standing on her front porch was nightmarish, he couldn’t believe that he was standing here, telling one of the nicest people he’d ever met that her son was killed, because he helped him. Charles placed his hand on his shoulder for emotional support, Jake might normally have not wanted that, but in this situation, he found it comforting.

Dorothea answered the door, as soon as she saw them, her countenance changed from a smile to sadness, “my son is dead, isn’t he?”

Jake hung his head, “yeah, I’m so sorry.” 

Dorothea hugged him and pulled him inside, “you two had nothing to do with this. I loved my son, I always will, but after you left and I stayed up at night thinking about what might happen, when you’re as old as I am you do that a lot more, I told myself, Dorothea, if this is finally it for Dougie, after everything else he’s survived, at least it happened doing something selfless, doing something to help others…”

After saying this, the small, elderly woman finally broke down, Charles patted her shoulder and she hugged him, “thank you little friend, you be careful too.”

Charles sniffed, “of course.”

“You’re going to find this man, right, don’t let him bring this grief to any other old ladies, no one needs this, no one.”

Jake nodded through his tears he was fighting, “we will find, I promise you, we will find him.”

Amy

She was at her desk hurriedly finishing all of her paperwork, so she could leave early and be with JJ, Terry stood in her doorway. “Lieutenant, I have one thing to talk to you about, then just go home, don’t freak out about what I tell you, just go home. JJ needs you and Jake will need both of you, I just sent Diaz and Aguilar and a small army to the crime scene…”

Amy stood up slightly from shock, “he struck again, already, didn’t he?”

Terry nodded, his head moving slowly from the weight of the sad information he was carrying, his voice started breaking before the words came out, “He killed Gary, Jennings, I know you were his mentor…”

Amy wasn’t sure what emotion was stronger at that moment, rage or despair, this killer was bound to take so much from them, all for simply doing their jobs, she allowed a few tears to fall before steeling herself to speak. “Thanks Captain, I will announce it to my officers…”

“No, you won’t, I will, no one will blame you for this, you were his mentor, he worshipped you and you helped him, a lot.”

Amy slumped in her desk chair, “I adored him, he could drive me crazy, but in a me sort of way, he only did it because he was so eager to do well and be the best cop he could…oh shit, I have to tell his parents.”

Terry held up his hand, “Holt is already on his way to New Jersey to tell them, he left immediately, you and Jake have both given too much to this, you need a rest, that’s an order.”

Jake

Charles was waiting in the car at the corner mart, Jake ran in for an orange soda, he hadn’t been drinking near as much soda, but today he didn’t care, he deserved this. As Jake opened the door he was getting off a call with Terry.

“Take me home Charles, Terry’s orders. And oh yeah, the motherfucker struck again…one of our own, Jennings.” Jake closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe despite that his body felt tense an incapable of such an action.

Charles slammed his hands on the steering wheel, “not Gary…he was such a nice guy, holy crap Jake, this guy is hitting you where it hurts, I…it’s just…”

“I know Charles, I know, hit the siren and get me home, Ames is going to be raw, she liked Gary a lot more than she let on, I mean, he was the young less attractive male version of her…Sorry, that’s a dick move.”

“Jake, you’re coping, don’t apologize, plus it was true.”

Jake was silent for a few minutes as Charles wove them adeptly in and out of the slow responding traffic, “What else will this son of a bitch take from us if we stay on the case? I mean, he killed two seemingly unrelated cops, maybe just to see who would be in charge of it all, and then my doppelganger at the nine-seven, then Doug Judy, and now Amy’s doppelganger. I just don’t know if any of us can afford to stay on this case, more innocent people will suffer.”

Amy and Jake

As Jake staggered through the door of their home, Amy was on the couch watching JJ play with his toys, Jake bent over and kissed his son as JJ smiled at him, he then collapsed onto the couch, and into Amy’s arms.

“I’m so sorry Ames.”

“Yeah, this is one hell of a case, huh?”

Jake closed his eyes as he concentrated and the feeling of his wife’s caress, “What do you think, I want your honest opinion, should I stay on this case?”

Amy couldn’t answer right away, she had thought about this a lot, but the fact was that she was conflicted, pulled in two opposite directions from her training as a police officer and her own feelings as an actual human who had suffered loss and whose husband had suffered loss. After a slightly awkward pause, she quietly cleared her throat to get her words out clearly, “no. You should ask to be relieved. We can’t handle more, god knows I can’t, and I’m pretty sure you’re at your breaking point as well, but wait to do it until after the funerals.”

Jake sighed, “everything you say is true, and you have a good point about waiting until after the funerals, it’s just…it’s just not us…”

“That doesn’t matter, it’s us now Jake, it’s us making sure more innocent people don’t get hurt because we’re on a case or somehow involved, get people who are better at staying out of the limelight do this…that sounds selfish.”

Jake sat up and looked at her, “no, it sounds sensible, and if it is selfish, then fuck it, we deserve selfish, find two people who have given more to the NYPD than we have, there might be a few, but not many.”

“It’s the right decision, I can go with you when you tell Holt, but it may be worse for us if we’re both there.” Amy slumped down, this decision was not easy for her to make.

“Yeah, I’ll take Charles for support, he gets it.”

“Good call,” Amy cuddled into his arms, “Terry was going to talk to you tomorrow, they know how terrible this has been, it’s beyond the pale, nobody expects anyone to put up with this much, this is the right call.”

The first funeral, for Officer Cohen was the next day, followed by Doug Judy’s the next day and two days later was Doug Judy’s, with each funeral, Jake felt more and more sure that his decision was the right one, he warned Terry it might be coming, but he was waiting for now. As he sat next to Amy at Doug’s funeral, Charles was on his other side, his arm around Doug’s mom Dorothea who had taken a shine to Charles.

The funeral was brief, Dorothea said she didn’t like long funerals, as the preacher finished, Jake stood up and looked around the room, there were very few people, Jake had always found it interesting that criminals always talked about how loyal they were, but he seldom saw it, not like policemen, who gather money for loved ones and all come out to support their lost comrade.

Jake was looking at some pictures of Doug as child that were displayed when Holt walked up to him. “Sergeant Peralta, I understand you wish to talk to me to tomorrow, at my office.”

Jake nodded, “yes sir, it’s just…”

Holt shook his head, “do not worry about it now, focus on saying goodbye, something we have done far too often lately.”

After the funeral, Jake and Amy went to dinner at Charles’ and Genevieve’s home, the mood was somber except for the noises of contentment as JJ tried to walk and chase after Nicolaj. The two couples were unusually quiet, making some small talk but struggling to keep it going. As they were about to leave, Genevieve cleared her throat, “before I forget, even though today and the last week have been terrible, I have something to say, um Charles, I will marry you.”

Charles stood up and hugged her, instantly crying, Nicolaj jumped up and down and JJ tried to copy him, Amy and Jake congratulated them, Jake was happy that a little good news could come from everything, and he was happy for his best friend who had wanted to marry her for some time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The case takes a turn for the worse.

Amy and Jake

As he woke up, Jake felt the weight of his decision, today he was going to ask Holt to take he and his squad off the hunt for the serial cop killer, off the only case they had been working. Jake hated to give up, he had promised so many people he would find this guy, and the hardest for him was the thought of Doug Judy’s mother, she needed justice, she deserved for her son’s murderer to be brought in, but Jake felt empty.

He had never felt this way about a case before, even the seemingly impossible ones gave him a thrill, but this case, it just felt like no matter how it ended, it would be bad, and he wasn’t even sure why. He was restless as he tried to get comfortable in bed.

“Jake,” Amy rolled over sleepily to face him, “why are you so fidgety? It’s only five in the morning, you don’t have to be in talk to Holt until nine.”

Jake exhaled slowly, “I know, it’s just this case, I want to finish it, this guy has to stop and face the consequences for his actions, but at what cost? I know it’s the right move to take me and my squad off the case, but will anyone else be safe? I mean, will they have a chance of bringing him in without innocent people dying?”

Amy just looked at him and listened, as Jake finished, she reached out and gently laid her hand on his cheek, “Jake, you have to do what you feel is best, there is no truly right or wrong answer here, you quitting the case, it might not take the pressure off our family. Right now, our house is under twenty-four hour surveillance, yet…”

“Yeah, I just don’t know, I hate this case so fucking much, when I went to prison and was finally freed, justice was served, Hawkins went to prison, when Jimmy Figgis was brought in, same thing, but this guy, when he’s brought in, I just don’t feel like that will be end of it. Why is he doing this, that’s what fucks with me a lot, it seems random, yet…”

Amy sat up, “I know, I’ve thought the same thing, why now, when Holt is just in as commissioner and facing pressure, it feels like more than coincidence.”

Jake nodded, “I know, and this guy, Sampson, he may never explain, if he gets caught, or if he is captured alive, there’s just so many questions in this case.”

“Are you sure you want off the case, I mean one hundred percent sure?”

Jake sighed, “no, but I feel like by taking myself off it, maybe this guy will have to focus attention else where and give people a chance to track him down, but I’m not even completely sure about that, again, another reason I fucking hate this case.”

“Whatever you choose, I support it, you know that.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jake stretched his neck back, trying to think, “it’s just whatever decision I make, I’ll also second guess and wonder, if what happens afterwards is all my fault, whatever happens.”

“Jake, none of it is your fault, you’re dealing a talented psychopath who is delighting in what he does, regardless of why he does any of this, it’s his decision to act on it, not ours and certainly not yours, you are just doing your best to stop him, what happens is all on him.”

“I wish that made me feel better Ames, but it doesn’t, too similar to every other big case, repercussions galore.”

Amy

As Amy walked into the precinct at eight, everything felt too relaxed to her, they had just lost and buried one their own, her husband and his squad were under a direct threat from the same killer and here everyone was acting like it was a normal day. She tried her best to be positive and not let it annoy her, she understood, they still had a job to do and it wasn’t not productive to obsess about the dangers of a dangerous profession, but everything just seemed so out of place for how she felt.

Officer Lou walked into her office at eight-thirty, “Lieutenant, I made the roster changes, Dobson, Hart, and Miller will work overtime to fill in for Gary…”

Amy looked up and sighed, “I know, this sucks Lou, it really sucks.”

Lou nodded as he stared at his shoes, “yeah, a lot of us feel bad, we’d get so annoyed at Gary, but he was a good guy, just…”

Amy offered a small smile, “he was just so eager and right all the time.”

Lou nodded, “yeah, we feel bad, you don’t expect this to happen.”

“No, nor should we ever, we are good at what we do, this was extremely unfortunate, you can imagine how things are at my house right now.”

“I bet Jake is out of his mind, everyone wants this guy caught, but the closer you get to him, the more damage he inflicts.”

Amy sighed as she pushed away from her desk, “exactly, Jake isn’t sure what to do and he’s never like that with a case like this.”

“Have you looked at the surveillance tapes from when Gary was…”

“No, Jake did, but he didn’t say anything about it, why?”

Lou fidgeted, “nothing big, it’s just, Gary, he was so happy, he was whistling, he just loved this job. I like my job, mostly, but not like that. Oh yeah, before I forget, I changed the roster, so Saunders is working with me all this week, he and Gary were really close, they reminded me a little of Jake and Charles, so I want to keep a close eye on him, for support.”

Amy smiled, “thanks Lou, I couldn’t do this without you, my mind has been overwhelmed with everything that’s gone on, I feel out of touch and a little out of place right now. I was with the detectives for so long, and with what they’re going through…”

“I get it lieutenant, I get it, it’s part of this job, the close relationships, it’s normally a good thing, a real good thing, but right now, that part is causing a lot of pain in people, it’s hard to lose someone you’re close to in this job, it makes you want to quit so you never have to feel it again.”

Lou dismissed himself and Amy was left reflecting on his words and how true they were, she worried Jake might be pushed to the point of no return if he lost one of his detectives, she shuddered to think about it, but with every murder Sampson committed, he seemed to be moving closer to Jake.

Jake

Rosa was giving the morning briefing this morning, none of the other detectives other than Charles knew Jake was going to take them off the case, they just thought Jake had a meeting with Holt to talk about the case. Jake met Charles at the precinct and they took a non-marked police car to headquarters. Charles talked about his wedding preparations on the way, he and Genevieve wanted a small intimate wedding, and they wanted it soon. Jake was glad Charles had something to distract them both right now.

Charles pulled up and parked in a police car spot in front of the NYPD headquarters, Jake felt panic as he exited the car and walked across the plaza to Holt’s office. Everyone seemed subdued inside, Jake knew they had been under a lot of pressure, but as he entered the lobby to Holt’s office, he saw why. The headline on the newspaper on the counter read, “Mayor Rips Commissioner, Says He Shares Blame for Deaths.” Jake felt disgusted and read a few sentences, the mayor was blaming Holt, saying he wasn’t doing enough to protect his officers or the city and that it might be time for a change.

As Jake and Charles sat down, they both exchanged angry glances about the article, Jake took out his phone and looked at the article on line, and then at the comments, many people agreed with mayor and many of them left ugly comments, several citing Holt’s sexual preference as an issue. Jake wanted to scream, here he was about to quit the case and his mentor was under increasing pressure for this case, no matter what Jake did, people would get hurt.

After waiting a few minutes, the door to Holt’s office opened and the first one out was the new mayor, Jake really disliked this guy, he looked overly tan and pompous, Jake thought he looked like tv televangelist, the mayor smugly acknowledged them as he passed by them, followed by his advisors and security. Holt came out a minute later, “Peralta, Boyle, come in please.”

Jake thought Commissioner Holt looked much older than normal, it wasn’t the grayish hairs, it was his eyes, they looked much more care worn than he had ever seen, and he had seen his former captain in many difficult and terrible times concerned with both of their lives.

“Sir, I can come back later, maybe right now the last thing you need is more stress.”

Holt smiled weakly, “Peralta, do not be ridiculous, you have a right to your safety, as do your detectives, never worry about your superiors when you are doing your best and what is right for you and your family, never.”

Jake suddenly didn’t want to say anything, but he hated this case and everything that had happened, “I’m so sorry sir, but I’m not any closer to bringing this guy in, and with all the losses we’ve had…”

Holt held up a hand, “Peralta, do not preoccupy yourself, you have given everything to this case and no one knows that more than I do, if you truly want off the case, then you will be off the case.”

Jake knew that if he didn’t speak up and quit the case right then, he might never have the courage to do so again, “I think I need off the case sir, my squad as well, it’s too much, I know it’s not fair to complain when you’re under so much pressure, but it’s too much, our suspect makes it far too personal.”

“Peralta, I understand, give me a week to make some decisions, and know that I am truly thankful and apologetic for all you have done and given to this case. I fear no matter what is done at this point, nothing can save me, as you have no doubt read or heard, the mayor is after me, in no uncertain terms, but that isn’t as important as stopping this crazed murderer.”

“It sucks sir, for me, it’s cases that come back and hurt me or those I love, for you, the establishment comes after you, like you have done something to them, which I don’t get, I’m immature, but I’m nothing but super grateful for all you’ve done and taught me.”

Holt nodded ever so slightly with a look a mild amusement on his face, “yes, but immaturity is one thing, ignorance is another. The mayor, for all his money and power, is ignorant, of many things, but mostly about people.” Holt looked out the window briefly, “Boyle, I understand congratulations are in order, you are to be married.”

Boyle smiled, “yes sir, Genevieve finally agreed, I mean, I should just be happy we’re a family, but without the marriage, it doesn’t feel as complete, if you know what I mean.”

Holt smiled, “of course, Kevin and I have been in a loving relationship for years but being allowed to marry made us feel like it was real, recognized, and above all, a symbol of our devotion to one another.”

Charles wiped his eyes, “that was beautiful sir, that’s how I feel, but our issue wasn’t the laws, just Genevieve’s exes were all terrible people, especially her ex-husband.”

“Thank you, Boyle, Peralta, how are you and Amy dealing with your difficult losses you have experienced?”

Jake shrugged, he didn’t expect such a personal question from Holt, “well…not great, as you can see, it’s just, with Amy, she felt like Gary was such a great cop and never told him, so she feels guilt. Me, I feel so much guilt, for him, for Cohen, for Judy.”

“Why guilt, our killer did those things, he chose them, you had nothing do with it.”

“Yeah, but he chose Cohen and Jennings because of Amy and I, that’s on me, or at least that’s how it feels.”

“Peralta, I do understand, you know Kevin has been put in Harm’s way because of my job, but it still is not our fault, it is the fault of the criminals who happen to be so despicable that they not only murder and hurt others, but then feel the need to place blame on others, in this case the police for their actions and act out against us and our families and loved ones.”

“Thanks for being cool Commissioner, but I still feel terrible for doing this, the truth is I don’t’ know what the right answer is, but logic wise, this feels right.”

Commissioner Holt spoke with Jake and Charles for another ten minutes before thanking them both for their fine work and then dismissed them. They were out the main doors and halfway to the car when Jake stopped, “crap, I promised Amy I’d leave Holt the recent picture of JJ, she’ll be ticked if I don’t.”

“You go in, I’ll warm up the car.” Charles strolled to the car while Jake fumbled in his bag for the picture, when he found it, Charles was at the car, “we should go get something to eat before heading back.” 

Jake yelled back, “good call.” He watched as Charles unlocked the car, Jake turned around and started walking as he heard the car start, and he heard the loudest noise he had ever heard in his life, an explosion. He was thrown about ten feet back, he was bleeding and in pain, the disorientation made it difficult to see well, but as he turned over, he could see the car on fire and destroyed.

“Charles! Charles!” Jake screamed, people poured out of the buildings, sirens soon blared.

“Peralta how badly are you injured?” It was Holt, Jake forced himself to push through his pain, emotionally, and speak.

“I’m fine, Charles…” Jake’s throat felt parched, he could only feel sorrow.

Holt stared at the destroyed car, “dear god.”

Finally, it was too much for Jake and he felt himself losing consciousness. As he was out, he dreamed of Charles, he could see Charles, surrounded by at least fifty dogs.

“Charles, why so many dogs?”

“These are all the dogs I’ve rescued Jakey, just look at them.”

“Charles are you okay?”

“Of course, you and the dogs are here!”

“Where’s everyone else?” Jake asked as he looked around, scanning for others.

“I don’t know.”

Even in his dream and unconscious state, Jake realized Charles was dead, dream Jake began sweating and panicking, “Charles, I’m so sorry, it should have been me.”

“Jakey, what are you talking about? We’re both here.”

“Charles, you’re dead.” 

Dream Charles looked confused and looked around him, “really? Well that’s weird.”

Charles began to disappear, Jake panicked more, “No, Charles, don’t leave, don’t fucking leave me! Charles! Charles”

Jake opened his eyes, he was breathing heavily, he was in a hospital. He looked to his side and there was Amy, crying, “Hey,” She said through her tears, her voice hoarse and filled with emotion.

Jake realized what had happened, his best friend was dead, his partner in so many cases, his friend that would have done anything for him. “Hey,” he replied weakly, but it was the best he could currently offer as his mind began to comprehend the finality of what had happened.

“Jake, Charles…” Amy’s tears began to fall freely, Jake closed his eyes.

“I know, I saw it, he’s dead.”

“I’m so sorry.” Amy gently held his arm where there were no bandages.

“Me too, me too. I can’t quit this case Amy, that bomb was meant for me, it’s my fault, I have to finish this.”

Amy digested his words for a bit before answering, “I understand. I don’t think Sampson would leave you alone now anyways. Holt is telling Genevieve and Nicolaj what happened…”

Jake felt his own tears coming now, “it’s my fault that Nicolaj doesn’t have a dad, that he’ll grow up without the nicest dad…”

Amy stomped her foot down, hard, “listen to me, it is not your fault! None of this is! Sampson is a psycho, he’s to blame! Do not blame yourself, it won’t bring him back!” Amy stopped as she said that, Jake looked at her then closed his eyes and gave into his grief. The tears flowed, he said nothing, he simply thought about his best friend, Charles Doyle, gone, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this at all, please kudos or leave comments. Very little response so far..


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake deals with his loss.

Amy

Her husband was sleeping as she held their son in her arms, JJ wanted Dada, but Amy kept telling him that dada needed sleep. Confusion, she honestly thought that was her strongest emotion right now, it was such a mix of anger, sorrow, and everything in between that just felt spent. Watching Jake filled her with worry, she knew that once he was up and active, he would be obsessed with finding Sampson and ending this. Jake had already felt pushed to his limit with the first five victims, but now, Charles, Jake’s guilt and sorrow for the loss of his best friend would push him in ways she feared.

Some visitors had come, but very few, most were concerned about his reaction and emotions with losing Charles. Holt came in while Jake was sleeping, he looked devastated, to say the least, Amy had seen him deal with many difficult issues and problems, but this was defeating him like it was defeating Jake.

“I will keep him on the case if that is what he wants, he would end up working it anyways, I know him, I would do the same. This was his friend, his partner, the one person who supported Jake through his craziest ideas and phases.”

Amy released a small laugh, “I know, before I realized I loved him, I used to think Charles was an idiot for rarely questioning Jake, but then I realized it’s part of loving Jake, knowing his crazy ideas are part of him, I still have to question him a lot, but Charles got that, he got Jake in a way no one else did. Jake could be mean sometimes, but he loved him, we were starting to hangout a lot because Jake felt guilty and wanted to be there for him.”

Holt looked down at Jake, “that may save his sanity, I never lost a partner, but my favorite partner, he had lost one at the beginning of his career. It never left him, he said that he was reminded daily of how important was to let people know you appreciated them because sometimes, you never get the chance. I have my own guilt, Charles could be difficult to handle, but he was a fine detective and a caring person. Telling his wife and son will go down as one the most difficult experiences of my long career.”

“I can’t imagine,” Amy held on to her son tighter, “she must be suffering so much, they were finally going to get married, and now he won’t be able to see Nicolaj grow up.”

“He was inconsolable, he kept screaming that it can’t be true, it can’t be.” Amy nearly gasped when Holt shed an actual tear while recounting this difficult experience, “he said his papa rescued him from bad men, that is was not fair that he could not save his papa from the bad men.”

Amy felt her own tears now, “I’m so sorry sir, for you, for them. This case has made me think about whether staying in New York is what I want, I know crime happens everywhere, but there’s so many people, so much crime.”

“I know. I will most likely not be commissioner much longer, I have thought about teaching, I have been offered to teach a class on gender issues in law enforcement at Columbia University several times, but I never thought I could leave this job, until now.”

Amy would have normally fought this tooth and nail, the thought of her mentor giving up, but right now she understood what this case and the casualties had done to everyone, the pain it was causing and the lives it was changing. She would not judge anyone for wanting to quit right now when that is how she felt, she knew Jake wanted to bring the men to justice, but she also knew he needed a change, this might be too much for him to face, staying at the nine-nine without Charles but being reminded daily of him and what he meant to Jake.

Amy and Jake

Karen had been by, she saw Jake and cried a little, then cried a lot when Amy told her about Charles, she said hi to Jake in between his long naps and then left with JJ. Amy bought some sodas for Jake at store next to the hospital, when she returned, Jake was awake, the tv was on, an old episode of Dragnet was playing.

“Ames look at this, Joe Friday had it easy, hippies and jazz cats doing crime, not psychos and gang members.”

Amy sat down next to him, “I bought you some orange soda, to hell with your diet right now, you deserve this.”

“Thanks Ames,” Jake took a soda from her and sighed loudly, “I miss him Ames, but that’s not the worst of it, the worst is that I will never lose this guilt that I should have done more, as a friend, like he did.”

Amy smiled through her sadness, “Jake, the fact that you were his friend, despite your teasing or the fact that you got busy with your family, that meant the world to him. Genevieve told me once that Charles didn’t understand why you were his friend at all, he thought you were like the Fonz, but cooler.”

Jake closed his eyes momentarily, “Charles Boyle, the greatest partner and friend, I wish he could hear us talking, hear how much I will fucking miss him, how much we honestly loved him. If there’s any justice or even a god, Charles should get to hear this. I feel lucky that I wasn’t killed, but I also feel guilty Ames, the picture, that damn picture of JJ, for Holt, that saved me, it’s not fair, not that I want to be dead, but why does he?”

Amy could think of nothing to say, she instead tightened her grip on his arm, trying to convey her sorrow and pain and let him know that she understood his pain. They looked at each other for what seemed to each as a long time, no words were spoken, just a shared understanding of the pain that existed within them, the fear, the hate, and the sorrow. Jake eventually drifted off to sleep again, his dreams dominated by visits of his best friend.

When Jake woke up, Amy was still there, “Ames, you need sleep, JJ needs you…”

“I went home for a little while, but Genevieve and Nicolaj want to come see you, I told them that was fine, sorry, I just couldn’t say no…”

Jake shook his head, tears forming, “no, of course they can come, it will be as emotional as hell, but as much guilt and pain I feel, she will feel more, Nicolaj won’t spend hardly a day of his life without thinking about how much that man loved him and did for him…shit, I need to pull it together before they get here.”

Amy cleared the tears from her own eyes, “I think they will be glad to see he meant as much to you as he did to them, sometimes we need to feel understood, I imagine they feel like no one understands their pain, so I think you’ll be fine.”

Jake sighed, “I can buy that, how long until they come.”

“Genevieve said she wanted to come by after meeting with the funeral home, it’s nearby, so anytime after noon. I need to go pick up JJ and get us some good food, I just wanted to be here when you woke up.”

A few hours later, Jake watched JJ get restless in the hospital room while eating his fourth slice of Sal’s pizza. He couldn’t help but still feel extreme guilt that here he was watching his son while Charles was robbed of that, that his son would get to have his dad there when he woke up most mornings while Nicolaj would never get that again, he was lost in these thoughts when he saw Amy stand up.

“Genevieve, Nicolaj, come in.” Genevieve had tears in her eyes already, Nicolaj looked devastated, JJ crawled to him, Nicolaj gave small smile and followed him to JJ’s toys.

Jake was trying to think of what to say, but Genevieve spoke first, “Jake, I know you will feel guilty about this, but if something had to happen, Charles would have wanted to be by you…he loved you Jake…sorry.”

Jake tried to sit up as good as he could, “I’m so sorry, I wish…I wish…I just wish it hadn’t happened, I will always miss him, he was my best friend, even I didn’t always act like it.”

Genevieve gave a small smile, “no Jake, he understood you have a family, when you started insisting on getting together once a week, that meant the world to him, his own dad had been distant lately, but you saw his need and acted, that was everything to him, to me.”

Nicolaj was suddenly at Jake’s bed side, he said nothing, he just hugged Jake who couldn’t help but hug him back. “I miss my papa.”

“Me too Nicolaj, me too, he was my best friend and great partner.” Jake’s mind was racing for what to say, he needed to say something, he could never take away the pain of Nicolaj losing his father, but there had to be something he could say. He paused a little bit, then smiled as he looked at him, “did you know your papa saved my life, like bunch of times?”

Nicolaj looked up at him, his glasses slightly fogged from crying, “really?”

“Hell yeah,” Jake saw Amy grinning while also shaking her head, “I mean, yeah, of course. He was so brave Nicolaj, but more important than that, he loved people, he taught me a lot about that. I used to not care what happened to me, I was reckless, but your dad taught me I can be a good cop and still be careful.”

Nicolaj looked away, “but he still…”

Jake swore at himself internally, “what happened was terrible, but there was no way anyone could have avoided that buddy, but I know he would not want you be afraid, he would want you to enjoy life and help people like he did.”

“I saw him dive in front of a bullet once to save Rosa, it hit him in the hip, he knew it would hurt him, be he still did it, I know a lot of cops who wouldn’t have done that. He was the bravest guy out there.”

Jake told a few more stories of Charles’ heroics, Nicolaj soaking them up and beaming as Jake told them. After talking for a while, Genevieve told them that she and Nicolaj needed to go. Nicoalj hugged Jake and Amy, Genevieve stood next to Jake, “Jake, thanks for this, he needs this, please keep in touch he needs…”

Amy put her arm around her, “of course, you are still are friend and Jake and I want to do our best to keep Charles’ memory alive.”

Jake

Jake was alone in his hospital room watching some old monster movie on tv waiting for Amy to get him some clothes from home, he was being released from the hospital in a few hours. He was considering changing the channel when he heard a knock on the door, Jake turned and saw Amy’s dad Victor.

“Victor, I’m going home in a few hours, you could just visit there, not as depressing.”

Victor smiled, “I know, I actually wanted to talk to you, without everyone.”

Jake felt nervous suddenly, “uh oh, did I break some Santiago rule?”

“No Jake, no, you just went through the worst thing a cop can go through, you lost your partner.”

Jake felt worse now, he wished he had broken a Santiago rule, “oh, yeah, no, I’m fine.”

Victor sat in the chair next to Jake’s bed. “Bullshit Jake, nobody is fine when this happens, especially someone like you, and especially when he was your best friend. I’ve seen this happen, I’ve seen great cops fall apart because they can’t deal with the aftermath, the emotions involved, we try to be tough and pretend we’re tough guys, but losing your partner and friend, it’s brutal.”

Jake nodded, “yeah, you’ve seen it, a lot?”

“A few times, but I also lived it Jake.”

“Really, you lost a partner?”

“I did, it was hard on me, even harder because I didn’t always get along with this guy, he was old school, didn’t love having a minority for a partner, he always referred to me as his Mexican partner.”

“Oh my god, that’s terrible, not a nice person.”

“Not always, no, but we were investigating a case that was right out of the movies, it was murder, our suspect was a low level mob enforcer, then he gets killed before we can find him, turns out a detective in our precinct was working as an informant for the Capaso family, they were small compared to others, but they were nasty. We found this detective’s fingerprint, Donaldson, my partner, Jantzen, he didn’t want me along, he told me this guy would flip out if I went in, he was old school too, so he wore a wire and went to talk to him at his apartment. So I’m in the care listening to this old device, the quality was terrible, but heard enough, Jantzen told him to turn himself in and give up and admit what he did without hurting anybody else, well of course, Donaldson refused, but we had enough to easily end his career, but Jantzen got pissed and couldn’t let it go, I knew something bad was about to happen and I ran, but I was too late, I heard the shot fired as I was running down the hallway, Donaldson runs out with his gun, but he couldn’t do anything before I fired at him and brought him down.”

“That’s crazy, it sounds like a Pacino movie.”

“I told you, but it was difficult for me Jake, I second guessed every decision I made that night, I felt bad for disliking Jantzen, even though he sometimes introduced my as Officer Spick or Detective Taco, but it didn’t change how it screwed with me, made me second guess, made me overly cautious. I was struggling, and then something interesting happened.”

“Please tell me the Pacino movie similarities end here.”

Victor laughed, “I promise, Jantzen’s best friend on the force was our Sergeant, who while he treated me okay, was also a little racist and definitely old school, but he pulled me aside and talked to me, I thought he might blame me, but instead he told me that I was a good cop, he said Jantzen liked me despite how he acted, he told me there was nothing I did wrong, that I couldn’t let it keep me from being a good cop.”

“It will be hard when I start working again, for sure. My worst problem is my guilt, I just wonder what I could have done different.”

“That’s the point Jake, what’s done is done, focus on being a good cop to honor his memory, Amy told me you met with his son and told him stories, do that, but don’t let it hurt you, as a person or as a great sergeant.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos or comment if you like this at all.


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